The Issue with a Looks-Based Society

Looks aren’t everything. And yet, in the last twenty or so years we’ve been taught to believe they are. What's happened here?

Even though I was born not too long ago, in the 90’s, I still remember the days when our society didn’t fixate so much on appearance. You looked the way you looked, and that was fine. There was a lot of refreshing variety too when it came to appearances. It just wasn’t that big of a deal. Then came social media, the internet, facebook and instagram. Now, it feels like we’re expected to share pictures of ourselves constantly and we’re being judged. It makes sense we’ve defaulted to putting appearances first. That’s probably the way these apps were designed - to keep us emotionally hooked through insecurity and seeking validation through likes.

I don’t think the current hyper fixation on appearances is harmless. I think it’s harmful. It quietly pits all of us against each other and this creates inner pressure and frustration. It gives an impossible standard to measure up to, and if we don’t, we’re seen as ‘less than.’ Plus, physical appearance is hollow. There’s no substance or depth to it, so fixating on it can leave life feeling empty.

The irony of all this is I find is that the most radiant natural beauty a person can possess seems to come from the inside. When we do what makes us happy, live authentically, and focus on ourselves, it’s magnetic.

I do think focusing on our looks can be positive in some ways. For one thing, looks can be a way to express ourselves, to practice self love by caring for our appearances, and to get creative with our unique style and individuality.

But our personality, our passions, our character, our humor, our connections, our contributions to others and our experiences — these feel exponentially more meaningful to me than how symmetrical or perfect someone's physical body is.

Something I really admire about animals, especially small species like geckos, chickens and birds, is that they're entirely unselfconscious. They move throughout their little worlds with absolutely no care for how they look, and they seem really happy and content with this.

If the world can change this much in twenty years, then I'm hopeful the pendulum can definitely swing back over the next twenty. Maybe someday, this will all be a distant memory (or nightmare) and you'll find us outdoors, gathered around a campfire enjoying life, without a care in the world for instagram or who got the most likes.

In the meantime, it doesn't seem like our society or anyone else is going to protect us from the harmful effects of this trend, so it may be up to us to protect ourselves. To choose to unplug and stop participating. If you ever forget it, just know that you look worthy exactly the way you were born, and your value is inherent. Never let anyone tell you otherwise!